Neighbor: Did you see the cute little family living under your shed?
Me: Family of what?
Me: BADGERS! I. Have. A. Dog. Badgers are mean.
Neighbor: Well, maybe not badgers but ground hogs.
Me (in my head): Son of a....
Later that night...
Me: Hun, we have a family of something living under the shed.
BF: Family of what?
Me: Neighbor saw them this morning, they're badgers or something.
Me: Maybe ground hogs.
BF: There's a big difference between ground hogs and badgers.
Me: Well, whatever they are you'd better fix it (read: get rid of) before the Littlest Kid gets home.
BF: Christ. That's all I need. If he sees them he'll be feeding them carrots.
Me: Do badgers eat carrots?
BF: We DO NOT have badgers!
Me: Either way. I'll pick up some extras carrots.
BF: Son of a ....